


Crimson affection

by ShinigamiCara



Series: Notice me! [3]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Bitterness, F/M, Grelliam, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 01:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9212726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinigamiCara/pseuds/ShinigamiCara
Summary: Love demands sacrifice.





	

She was ready.

She had decided to do it long ago; she knew it was necessary. Love demands sacrifice, that was it. _Now it happens_ , she thought, _it must happen_.

'Senpai?' Ronald’s voice was shaky. 'May I start?'

Grell turned her head and glanced up to him. She was sitting on a chair in her office room late in the afternoon; Ronald was standing behind his superior with scissors in his right hand. Anxiety appeared on his face. He was aware what they were about to do and he didn’t appreciate it. All his efforts to talk Grell off it were in vain; despair was almost choking him.

'You know, I understand if you-' he started but Grell cut his words abruptly. Her voice was unusually calm and determined.

'No, Ronnie, it's fine. Do it.'

Ronald nodded, swallowing loudly; his face was pale but he raised his hand with the scissors. His fingers were shaking. Grell closed her eyes. She trusted his pupil.

She'd have her hair cut.

The first time she thought about it was... some month ago. She was staring at William while working and suddenly she understood - William was irritated by her because she was so unbelievably different, a rebel, someone who doesn't respect _any_ rules, including dress-code at work and so on.

She was desperate to show Will how much she loved him, that he was different, he was the one for her - but she couldn't. Every time she tried she failed. She failed and failed and failed, again and again.

That impossible frustration drove her into other lovers’ arms.

It took some time till the thought established: she'd need a _real_ sacrifice. A sacrifice to show Will she was serious. This is how she chose the most precious thing in her existence - her hair. Her hair that she'd grown for centuries, those beautiful crimson red locks she cared so much for. Those strands that made her who she was - Grell Sutcliff, the fascinating drama queen.

It wasn't an easy decision to make but once she decided it she knew it would happen. The more she thought of it, the more she could accept the fact that she'd become a... _male_ again. (When she was a _'he'_ , a young reaper, he was indescribably handsome with his short red hair and snow white skin. Even William was on the same opinion, though he never admitted it in public.)

_Maybe now he'll appreciate this_ , Grell thought, waiting for the first cut. Which never came.

The door flew open with a sudden clack as William stepped into the office, energetic and quick as he was, holding an enormous pile of documents. An angry expression dominated his face as he addressed himself to Grell.

'Sutcliff! I had enough of your lack of sense of responsibility! I won't tolerate your-' he paused in the middle of the sentence, staring at his subordinates, confused. The scene he became part of was confusing somehow: Grell sitting cross-legged on a chair in the middle of the office, Ronald waiting behind her with scissors in his hand. I wouldn’t be like him to express his dismay, so he stayed cool. He frowned and put the pile on Grell's desk calmly and then crossed his arms in front of his chest, facing the two reapers. 'What are you doing there, may I ask?'

'I-I told her not to do this!' Ronald exclaimed, protecting himself and Grell too. He lowered his hand with the scissors. 'She wasn't able to do it alone, so I wanted to help... I tried to talk her off it…'

'I was about to have my hair cut' Grell added quietly.

'Why?' The question came much softer than expected.

'Because of you.' Grell didn't want to meet his eyes. 'I wanted to show you that I can adapt to rules, I can be normal.'

_I can be normal._

Four words William never expected from Grell. A statement that was totally unlike her, yet it seemed to be 100% considered.

Such a sincere utterance.

William sighed.

'Knox, will you please leave the room for some moments if I may ask? We have something to discuss.'

'Of course' the blond nodded hesitantly, and headed for the door of Grell's office - with the scissors still in his hands. He felt relieved as William appeared – he was sure his superior would handle the situation with care.

Yet he was worried about Grell.

As soon as he left, William turned to Grell who was still sitting on that chair, her hair covered her face and her emerald eyes filled with tears couldn't be seen. _Defeated_. This word echoed in her head endlessly. She was defeated.

'You're such a freak,' Will murmured, stepping forward to be closer to her. He lowered his voice so as not to be audible outside the office. 'You were about to do something very stupid, you know?'

'It's just hair' Grell shrugged her shoulders, still not looking at Will. There was so much negligence in this motion. 'It'd grow back.'

'No.' William reached to touch on of those glorious strands, her hair felt so amazingly silky between his fingers. Two milliseconds after he released it as abruptly as if it burned his skin. _Woah, what am I doing?_

Grell’s bitter smile squeezed his heart.

‘I know I’m stupid because I’m still chasing you. Believe me I tried so many times to accept the fact you hate me.’ A lonely teardrop escaped her eye; it slid down on his cheek. ‘It is not easy, you know. Maybe one day I can give it up… I wish that day came…’

‘Grell.’ He couldn’t listen to this. Yes, he was rigid, yes, he got irritated by her –but this wasn’t an excuse to do this.

Her emerald eyes were on him.

‘Please go back to work.’

He wished he could have said something. He wanted to say something – to reassure her, to wipe those strange feelings away. But he was William, he wasn’t used to be open.

‘Sure.’ Grell nodded and stood up, looking at the pile of paperwork William put on her desk. Putting herself together and talk like a calm Reaper of the Dispatch took only two seconds. ‘Um, when’s the deadline?’

‘It was yesterday.’ William felt utterly guilty. He never wanted to hurt Grell – he couldn’t help being disgusted by her. But why was it so terribly unbearable so suddenly? ‘I’m in my office till 6 o’clock, it’s okay if you pass later,’ he added softly.

With no words left, he turned around and headed for the door, with a heavy heart.

‘William?’

Grell’s sudden voice stopped him. Looking back above his shoulder, his eyes met hers. _I wish I was different. I wish I could change. I wish I could be whatever you want me to be._

‘I won’t give up easily,’ she whispered.

William nodded, and left the office without saying a word.

But in his mind, a reply was about to form.

_‘I hope so.’_


End file.
